Groom Rides in on an Ostrich

There are plenty of weddings where the bride makes a grand entrance. But usually the groom is waiting there to receive his bride. I want to make a grand entrance as well. Sure, I could ride in a white horse. But who would remember that? I want to ride in on an Ostrich. I’ll name […]

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KFC Chicken Corsage

No wedding is complete without flowers. But flowers can be expensive. Good thing KFC invented the chicken corsage. At twenty dollars, it has everything that you could possibly want out of a flower arrangement: It’s wearable, edible, and tastes like chicken. They are marketing it as a prom corsage, but what’s stopping them form making […]

Wine, Pie, Doves, and Mock Battles

As I have said in previous posts, the wedding is more than two people swearing their love to each other. It’s also about celebrating that commitment with loved ones. That’s why we’re focusing on a reception as well as our vows. We have been thinking about naming the event. But it certainly won’t be called […]

DJ Roomba

I love Parks and Recreation. The characters are always sharp and the actors are allowed creativity liberty. Aziz Ansari’s character, Tom, is the second funniest character on the show. The top honor goes to Nick Offerman’s Ron Swanson. But Tom’s entrepreneurial spirit gives me great ideas for my real life. Like DJ Roomba. Entertainment for […]

Goonies Themed Wedding

I still watch The Goonies from time to time. Each time I watch it, I want to go out to Oregon and search for pirate treasure. I think a Goonies themed wedding would be fantastic. I would have to get my friends together to go on a mission to find my bride. We would only […]

Styx as the Wedding Band

Styx. The rock ballad band that started in Chicago by playing at local proms before they got their start. Fun fact; they played at my parents’ prom. Famous for such songs as Lady, Miss America, and Mr Roboto, they’re one of those rock bands that should be bigger. I want to get them to play […]

Malort and Fireball Whiskey

One of the most important parts of the wedding is the reception. Everyone has made it through your beautiful pledge to be together forever and now they want to get blackout drunk to remember the occasion. We have worked up a selection of fine beer and spirits, but here’s what didn’t make the cut: Malort, […]

Phones at the Ceremony

I love my phone. I use it for everything. I even post to WordPress while taking the bus to work. I take pictures of crazy things and post them to Facebook for all of my friends to see. I can see why people like being on their phones, but I can see where there needs […]

Ring Bear

Recently “How I Met Your Mother” ended for good. The last season followed Robin and Barney’s wedding. Throughout the season, Barney kept saying that he had a ring bear for the wedding only to be asked to clarify if he actually meant ring bearer. In the third to last episode, we finally see the dreaded […]